Good God I'm Writing About the Weather.

 Today, my friends, may be the beginning of the End of Days.

                                          See what I did there?

The day started out sunny, then quickly switched to grey and rainy. Then back to sunny- while still raining.
Later, hail. Then sun. Then sun AND hail, and rain, and- you get the idea.

Hmm, I thought to myself. Erratic, violent weather? Sounds familiar. Wonder how all the first born males are doing. They have been having problems in Egypt...

Lookin' good, Jesus.

The clincher was the Jehovah's witness pamphlet left on our door inviting us to "celebrate the anniversary of Jesus' death." It came with a large picture of Jesus on the back, painted with lovely, nonthreatening pastels. Just like hospital walls.

Jesus, by the way, got a pretty impressive haircut.

As I write this it is hailing once again. Actually I thought it was rain- pouring rain. However, stepping outside further investigation proves the rain to be tiny balls of ice. I'll let you know when the hail turns to fire and locusts start invading my house. We have had quite the infestation of ants lately. Are ants the locusts of modern America? Do we even have locusts in America?
Are there answers to these questions? Will I look them up? Will this paragraph ever end?
 
According to Weather.com it's supposed to be partly sunny today with 0% chance of precipitation. Haha, Weather.com! You got me with your April Fools joke.

Oh, wait. It's April 2nd.

I have lost faith in you, Weather.com. You provided me with false information one too many times. From now on I'm making my own weather reports.

AND RAINBOWS.